Monday, March 2, 2009

sleep deprivation

I feel like all I do these days is complain about being sleep deprived. Oona is ten months old and she still doesn't sleep through the night - getting up 4-6 times to nurse. Lately I've been having a hard time going to sleep at night which doesn't help. I crave that not-being-touched-by-babies time, though, so my system goes through a mini-celebration when Oona goes to sleep at night. Then she's been waking up ridiculously early. This morning it was 6:08 am. A couple weeks ago she was sleeping until 8. So here I am, eyelids propped open with green tea. Wish I could do serious caffeine, but unfortunately I would get even less sleep if I did that. I'm still holding out that somehow Oona will figure out how to sleep through the night on her own. We'll see how long I last for before we have to do some serious night-time weaning.

But here is the solution to all women's troubles. lol. An excerpt from "The Birth House" by Ami McKay. (page 195, 200) I have not researched whether this is historically accurate or not but can you imagine?

"Feeling Anxious? Tired? Weepy?
You are not alone. The modernization of society has brought about an increase in neurasthenia, greensickness and hysteria. Symptoms of Neurasthenia include: Weeping, melancholy, anxiety, irritability, depression, outrageousness, insomnia, mental and physical weakness, idle talking, sudden fevers, morbid fears, frequent titillation, forgetfulness, palpitations of the heart, headaches, writing cramps, mental confusion, constant worry and fear of impending insanity. Talk to your physician. He can help."

Gee, I need to get to the doctor right away! And this is what he'll do for me.... ?

"The White Cross Battery-Powered Vibrator - Genuine Swedish movement and wonderfully refreshing effects, the same treatment for which you would have to pay at least $2.00 each in a physician's office. Vibration is Life. It will chase away the years like magic. Every nerve, every fibre of your whole body will tingle with the force of your awakened powers. All the keen relish, the pleasures of youth, will throb within you. Rich, red blood will be sent coursing through your veins, and you will realize thoroughly the joy of living. Your self-respect, even, will be increased a hundredfold. You can relieve pain, stiffness and weakness, and you can make the body plump and build it up with thrilling, refreshing vibration and electricity. Just a few minutes use of the wonderful vibrator, and the red blood tingles through your veins and arteries and you feel vigorous, strong and well."

Now you have all the information you need to solve all your problems and worries - a vibrator! No more suffering the ills of sleep deprivation! Wow! Sign me up! :)

No comments:

Post a Comment